More and more

Oh Lord, I'm bored. Sad and bored. It's like my big black dog is biting, biting, chewing off my life until I'm just a puff of air, wafting around the world unnoticed.

I don't want to be a puff, but rather a long, deep breath. Pure, clean air which will blow away any fog, drive away the clouds and give others joy.
Joy? That word seems new to me. What is joy? Tell me, I desperately want to feel it again.

All things are new, I'm curious, I look at everything with a questioning face. Most things just are, and some things seem out of place. Me, for example.
Wandering around without a clue, dishevelled and alone. When I speak, no one listens. When I listen, I can't hear.
When I retreat, I can't feel. When I can't feel, I can't feel pain.

The Prayer

Let us begin with a scene.
Colour bleeds away.
Away into a small room,
where I fell on my knees and prayed.

"I have carried my cross to You,
Self-crucified and ashamed.
Naked before the power of truth
and cloaked in guilt and blame.

Voices call from a distant past,
taunting, repeating my name.
I dare not succumb to their cruel farce
of guilt, truth and blame.

You, the man who rose from the dead,
the man who can set me free!
Lay your healing hands on my head
and help me be all I must be!

Give me strength to face the day,
to face another futile war.
A war which eats my soul away,
which takes prisoners forever more.

In the name of the Father,
mighty and pure.
In the name of the Son,
who felt the same pain.
In the name of the Ghost,
who helps me endure,
I must not despair again."

With the prayer being said, I went to sleep.
Filled with dreams of awe and wonder.
Opened my eyes and took a breath,
and the Devil took me under.

Musings

The grey fog just rolls in, and rolls out. I breathe in, and breathe out.
No one knows why.

Electrical impulses combine with nature to form...
(human nature electrical)

Impulses combine with thought to form...
(human thought irrational)

Rational reasoning has no need for the base instinct.

Streams flow like the fog which rolls in and out.

Things Beyond Things

Once when I was young, I used to dream for hours and hours
I'd dream a world that wasn't small...
And I'd travel to a valley where under trees and earth
I'd set my girl...
...And I knelt down by her head
And lay roses in her hair and I kissed her gently...
But this is what you are
As the sun sets in my eyes I know...

Infinity

The infinite waltz, ladies and gentlemen, welcome home...

We can never factor infinity, we can never understand it. Infinity is simply beyond human understanding. However, we can appreciate the infinite by observing the world around us. Nature is an example of infinite life, the enduring sky, the mountains, the colour of the universe. The balance of life is a reflection of the transcendent, being completely 'ordered', yet changing constantly.

"When a man stops crying, another man begins in the world. The same is seen in the laugh"

Samuel Beckett observes this fact in 'Waiting for Godot', as does Ursula Le Guin and Hayao Miyazaki.

Observe the world as it is and we will see the infinite, the infinite God.

Freud in a Nutshell

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twClBiSHcck

What we know about postmodernism (after)